I'm 77 and have been retired for a dozen years, but before that I was probably a "Type A" workaholic. Plus, I have always been a self-neglecting introvert (Myers-Briggs INTP with no middle-ground). Until retirement, it took a layoff or a near-mental breakdown for me to take a pause and "do nothing" (which was usually a long, solo motorcycle ride into the boondocks). Maybe your mileage will be different, but the old saying that "on their deathbed, nobody looks back and says 'I wish I'd spent more time working"" is true for me. The time I spent away from my family and friends, working, is what I regret.
This was my father before he became disabled with a heart condition. That gave him time to reflect and for better or worse he instilled the “do what you love not what you have to” look at life in me. Yeah, you pay a price for that but in the end you still come out way ahead!
I was working full time, getting 2 masters, in a paralegal program, and studying to be an auditor (Certified Internal Auditor) and process engineer (Six Sigma Black Belt) all over the course of 6 months. And I did it well....until I was a victim of violence and my organization/focus became compromised. =(
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I too as INTP have struggled with the same. Being in the military for fifteen years didn’t help the sense of go go go either. I’m happy I’m learning this lesson now in my mid30s and reading them from people like you keep me inspired and going. Thank you.
I’m so glad I chose to follow you. You sharing your struggle with the addiction engine which is our phones resonated with me tonight.
I’ve seen many shocking, enraging, real stuff happening in our nation today, but your post is the one I’ll take with me into my dreams tonight to meditate on.
Joe, I love The Trial of the Chicago 7 and watch it every few months, in part because of the amazing associative editing at the beginning of the film. Lately, though, I've been remembering your role in Stop-Loss--not as acclaimed as your understated work in Brick or Looper, but still a powerful performance. I love your work and love to see you talk about art. Thanks for being you.
I have been making it a point to take my dramatic pauses lately and I've gotten pretty good at it. I am also a workaholic and get burned out bc I never stop. I say this as I am sitting in a cold room at the spa in silence. It's great. I think I'll go lay in the sauna with my eyes closed listening to radiohead... 👋🏽
This is an extremely relatable post for me. As a professional creative, there's this constant feeling that if I don't make every minute of the day productive, I'm just going to get left behind. Over the past year, I've been making sure to find time every day to take my dog for a run on the beach and to fit in some time to work out in some way (my versions of the purposeful pause). I can't tell you how much these simple things have helped me deal with burnout! Thank you for sharing!
I love this perspective! Burnout is a real thing that cripple creativity. I have found that scheduling time weekly for those pauses have helped me stay energized for the things that aren’t natural to me.
I am very good at doing nothing. In fact Im certain I eont have done enough when my time comes to recycle into something else. But I can only do what I can do and right now what feels best is … nothing.
"Doing nothing" sounds pretty bland. Taking a "dramatic pause" from life sounds way more…uh, dramatic! I think I'll try this to gaslight my brain into taking dramatic pauses. Also important is not to overdo it.
I've been reading my stuff on line here for about a year almost. I listened to this, and then I listened again as I read along with it. Now here's the thing for me. On a whim, I decided to read Chaucer's THE CANTERBURY TALES. (You may have seen it, I gave you a shout out. I tend to do that on the off chance that you might actually check it out.) I feel that my biggest problem is that I read too fast, and as a result, I sometimes stumble. I try to slow down. I try to convey an atmosphere with my reading. But still, too fast. I need to figure out the "dramatic" pause. Thing is, I'm not trained to do this. However, now that I've started, I have to bull my way forward with it, don't I? My hope is that as I read it, going forward, I will improve. But, listening to you read, and reading along with you as you narrate your essay, I can see that I've got a long way to go.
I understood your essay. Once, in my lifetime, a friend invited me to meditate with a retired Tibetan Rinpoche in the second floor of a barn in a rural town. Colorful flags hung from the rafters, and we sat on pillows. The monk addressed us speaking broken English into a Radio Shack 5 dollar microphone plugged into a boombox. He taught us about impermanence and the value of observing our thoughts in silence while focusing on our breathing. I did become still, and something like dopamine flooded my consciousness. I still doom scroll. Go figure?
My husband cannot take the time to relax and do nothing. He is constantly listing what he still has to do. When he sits down to finally "do nothing" he falls asleep because he's so tired from doing, doing, doing. He's reaching retirement age and I'm wondering if he is going to be able to finally relax.
Honestly, being a person who does take the time to do nothing, his constantly saying what is still left to do raises my anxiety and I also feel guilty because I don't keep going. I reach a point in the day when I'm done. I'm not doing any more.
I wish he could take advice like this to heart and finally relax.
Don’t most animals spend most of their time just lounging around? Isn’t that our trust nature? We’ve not evolved to constantly be on the go yet we’ve been brain washed into thinking this old normal.
Nice….. love the introspection and it’s good advice these days. Just subscribed, love your work Joe. It’s people like you that show us what hard work really is and how a passion for something can push us to greater heights and real connection with others. You’re a real star in a universe full of gas. Thank you, JL
I'm 77 and have been retired for a dozen years, but before that I was probably a "Type A" workaholic. Plus, I have always been a self-neglecting introvert (Myers-Briggs INTP with no middle-ground). Until retirement, it took a layoff or a near-mental breakdown for me to take a pause and "do nothing" (which was usually a long, solo motorcycle ride into the boondocks). Maybe your mileage will be different, but the old saying that "on their deathbed, nobody looks back and says 'I wish I'd spent more time working"" is true for me. The time I spent away from my family and friends, working, is what I regret.
This was my father before he became disabled with a heart condition. That gave him time to reflect and for better or worse he instilled the “do what you love not what you have to” look at life in me. Yeah, you pay a price for that but in the end you still come out way ahead!
I was working full time, getting 2 masters, in a paralegal program, and studying to be an auditor (Certified Internal Auditor) and process engineer (Six Sigma Black Belt) all over the course of 6 months. And I did it well....until I was a victim of violence and my organization/focus became compromised. =(
Autism is my super power <3
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. I too as INTP have struggled with the same. Being in the military for fifteen years didn’t help the sense of go go go either. I’m happy I’m learning this lesson now in my mid30s and reading them from people like you keep me inspired and going. Thank you.
I was up to my neck in alligators when I was in my mid30s. I envy you. Well done.
I’m so glad I chose to follow you. You sharing your struggle with the addiction engine which is our phones resonated with me tonight.
I’ve seen many shocking, enraging, real stuff happening in our nation today, but your post is the one I’ll take with me into my dreams tonight to meditate on.
I like that you always do make me stop and think about what I am doing. Thank you for sharing your journaling. 💓
Joe, I love The Trial of the Chicago 7 and watch it every few months, in part because of the amazing associative editing at the beginning of the film. Lately, though, I've been remembering your role in Stop-Loss--not as acclaimed as your understated work in Brick or Looper, but still a powerful performance. I love your work and love to see you talk about art. Thanks for being you.
I have been making it a point to take my dramatic pauses lately and I've gotten pretty good at it. I am also a workaholic and get burned out bc I never stop. I say this as I am sitting in a cold room at the spa in silence. It's great. I think I'll go lay in the sauna with my eyes closed listening to radiohead... 👋🏽
This is an extremely relatable post for me. As a professional creative, there's this constant feeling that if I don't make every minute of the day productive, I'm just going to get left behind. Over the past year, I've been making sure to find time every day to take my dog for a run on the beach and to fit in some time to work out in some way (my versions of the purposeful pause). I can't tell you how much these simple things have helped me deal with burnout! Thank you for sharing!
I love this perspective! Burnout is a real thing that cripple creativity. I have found that scheduling time weekly for those pauses have helped me stay energized for the things that aren’t natural to me.
💯💯💯. Have to make time to recharge the batteries from time to time!
I am very good at doing nothing. In fact Im certain I eont have done enough when my time comes to recycle into something else. But I can only do what I can do and right now what feels best is … nothing.
"Doing nothing" sounds pretty bland. Taking a "dramatic pause" from life sounds way more…uh, dramatic! I think I'll try this to gaslight my brain into taking dramatic pauses. Also important is not to overdo it.
Thanks for this frame of thinking!
I've been reading my stuff on line here for about a year almost. I listened to this, and then I listened again as I read along with it. Now here's the thing for me. On a whim, I decided to read Chaucer's THE CANTERBURY TALES. (You may have seen it, I gave you a shout out. I tend to do that on the off chance that you might actually check it out.) I feel that my biggest problem is that I read too fast, and as a result, I sometimes stumble. I try to slow down. I try to convey an atmosphere with my reading. But still, too fast. I need to figure out the "dramatic" pause. Thing is, I'm not trained to do this. However, now that I've started, I have to bull my way forward with it, don't I? My hope is that as I read it, going forward, I will improve. But, listening to you read, and reading along with you as you narrate your essay, I can see that I've got a long way to go.
I understood your essay. Once, in my lifetime, a friend invited me to meditate with a retired Tibetan Rinpoche in the second floor of a barn in a rural town. Colorful flags hung from the rafters, and we sat on pillows. The monk addressed us speaking broken English into a Radio Shack 5 dollar microphone plugged into a boombox. He taught us about impermanence and the value of observing our thoughts in silence while focusing on our breathing. I did become still, and something like dopamine flooded my consciousness. I still doom scroll. Go figure?
I just retired 2 months ago. I needed to hear this!
Congratulations! I hope this new stage is bringing you much joy and tranquility after all the work you put in!
That was a nice blend of mindfulness and cinema. Subscribed!
My husband cannot take the time to relax and do nothing. He is constantly listing what he still has to do. When he sits down to finally "do nothing" he falls asleep because he's so tired from doing, doing, doing. He's reaching retirement age and I'm wondering if he is going to be able to finally relax.
Honestly, being a person who does take the time to do nothing, his constantly saying what is still left to do raises my anxiety and I also feel guilty because I don't keep going. I reach a point in the day when I'm done. I'm not doing any more.
I wish he could take advice like this to heart and finally relax.
Don’t most animals spend most of their time just lounging around? Isn’t that our trust nature? We’ve not evolved to constantly be on the go yet we’ve been brain washed into thinking this old normal.
I just wrote about this! Kind of. I read a sweet little book called Ordinary Life and felt permission to exhale. https://open.substack.com/pub/danicostello/p/the-book-i-tried-not-to-read-ordinary?r=nknc&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
Nice….. love the introspection and it’s good advice these days. Just subscribed, love your work Joe. It’s people like you that show us what hard work really is and how a passion for something can push us to greater heights and real connection with others. You’re a real star in a universe full of gas. Thank you, JL